Moments of Waiting

By Gayle Thornberry


Her heart was beating like Congo drums in her ears, as she stole away across the fields she had earlier helped glean. The 'thump, thump, thump,' in her gut was mixed with equal amounts of fear and excitement at what she might soon encounter, but it was the possibility of God's promise of future that kept her pushing on as she stumbled over dirt clods and splintery tufts of un-harvested barley. But, finally all the preparation of the day; the bathing, the perfuming, the anointing . . . and certainly, the praying, had brought her to this place. For here she stood standing just inside the darkness, but outside the light of the threshing floor. She was able to watch the activity of those on the night shift guarding the barley harvest, without being noticed, like one who was "casing out" her coming reward. She could almost see, and all but touch, the work God was doing on her behalf.

In this place of tension between the "almost" and the "not yet," she had decisions to make. She could press on, sneak in and cover herself with the hem of his garment, or she could allow all the questions about "how can this be any part of God's plan?" make her turn around and run. Did she have the fortitude and faith to press on when the plan now seemed more ridiculous than righteous? Would she even question now in the cold emptiness on the night hours her very relationship with the Almighty? Or, would she take the risk of being wrong, or worse, being rejected by her intended bridegroom?

As for the Biblical story of Ruth; we know she pressed on. She quietly and humbly slipped in and lied patiently under the covering of the bridegroom's hem awaiting his approval of her actions. The night must have seemed to go on forever. Those minutes ticking away with the beating of her heart, that tick, tick, tick . . . seemed endless.

Listen to the text found in Ruth 3:7b-10a:

Then she came stealthily and uncovered his feet, and lay down. At midnight the man was startled, and turned over, and there, lying at his feet as a woman! He said, "Who are you?" And she answered, "I am Ruth, your servant; spread your cloak over your servant for you are next-of-kin." He said, May you be blessed by the Lord, my daughter; this last instance of your loyalty is better than the first . . . "

Then, the true test was to come. She was wrong about her facts. Boaz was NOT her next of kin, in fact there was another . . . and even after the risk she had just taken, it could be that he, not Boaz might become her husband. She had to wait once again in the tension of the "almost," but "not yet." What would her waiting be like? Would she fret over her questions about what in the world God was doing?"  Would she resort to her past stand-by questions regarding God's love for her, His acceptance of her, or even if His promises were even true?  After all, she had been faithful . . . she took a huge risk and did what she felt called to do, and all for what? Why would God create this mess? Didn't God know the facts? Why the wait? Why this moment? Why not just a reward for faithfulness?

Unfortunately and fortunately, this is a story we can all relate to, the almost and the not yet, the yes, but wait moments of God, where we are challenged with lying under the hem of His garment, patiently and without question. But, everything seems to be so big to us. Everything is such a crisis of faith. We don't know how to just lay there without trying to wiggle out from under the very plan and covering of God that we've prayed for. Ruth waited. She had no choice, for she was an unwelcome foreigner, with no resort except to trust God. We too, are unwelcome foreigners in this land and we need to learn how to wait and trust without it being a crisis of our faith. It's a crisis of our faith, because we don't have proper perspective. If we had lived through a drought, the death and only provision of a husband, barrenness, rejection of the community of faith around you, hard, long, hours of field work in order to eat . . . we might look differently at those moments of tension between the "almost" and the "not yet." We might actually view them with potential and excitement rather than discouragement and doubt.

Would it be that we would not kick off the covers that God is working to place over us. Would it be that we would lie still, quiet and patient under the working, invisible hand of God as he prepares the garment of praise with which He desires to cover us.

Free to be Me

By Ev Horne

As I sit down to write this blog, I’m filled with hesitation and fear because I’ve got nothin’ to say.   I checked out everyone else’s blog, WOW!  I don’t think I can follow that.  I got away with forgetting to submit my blog last time, but not this time.  This time, I’ve got a deadline!  What do I write about, it’s not like I don’t have a lot going on in my life.  Got a new job, my best friend is getting married; God is taking me to a different level of faith in Him.   Actually, I think I’m at the most peaceful time of my life.  As I lean back in my chair and my roommate calls me a big procrastinator (she’s right by the way), I start asking the Lord, “What do I write about”? He immediately says, “why do you compare yourself to others, I made you to be you and not someone else.” 

As I take note of that statement, I remember when I first met Jesus.  I was a single mom with a 2 year old, having no idea how to raise a child, especially by myself!  Oh, I had a friend that was helping at the time, but when Jesus and I got together . . . well, things change when Jesus comes in to live in you.  I remember crying out to God, scared I could not be mother and father to my son. God gently and lovingly said to me, “you were not created to be his dad; I created you to be his mom.”  By that simple statement I was set free to raise my son, without the bondage of trying to be two different people to him.  As he grew . . . I grew in the Lord, and when I didn’t know what to do, I called out to Jesus and He always answered. So, as I write this, I see, I’ve written almost ½ a page. Not bad! 

I have served the Lord for about 28 years now and still find myself, looking at others and thinking “Wow, wish I could do that.”  But, as my Lord takes me to the next level with Him, I am beginning to accept ME, just the way I am.  I’m coming to the understanding that He created me to be me, and I’ve spent too many years trying to be what someone else wanted me to be.  So much so, that I am just now, at 57, becoming comfortable with me. In His Word, Mark 12:28-31, Jesus is asked which commandment is most important, His response, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and with all your mind and with your strength and the second, like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I’ve done a lot of things for people in the name of love, yet, I didn’t really love myself.  If I didn’t love me, how could I love them, much less my neighbors, my friends, and my family?  Okay and I won’t even get into the whole, “love your enemy and pray for them,”  that’s a whole other sermon there! As I come into my own, by that I mean, the “my own” that God has made me to be, I think I might really like ME.

So there you are, my first blog for Delightfully Restored.  I look forward to meeting you sometime at one of our conferences.  We can talk about loving ourselves and how that frees us to love others.  

It's a Choice!

By Dianne Sackrider

I know we have all been hurt by someone. It’s inevitable.  I’ve not met a single person that doesn’t have a story of being hurt by someone they trusted.  Recently, I was hurt by people who I thought had my back.  I would never have dreamed I would find myself hurt by those I counted as my closest allies.

I knew God wanted me to forgive them and I knew that letting it go and extending forgiveness to them was the only way I would be set free from the bondage of offense, but knowing it and doing it are not the same thing.

I must confess that I did not readily extend forgiveness.  I had been betrayed and that cut was DEEP.  I went through a gamete of emotions.  I tried to make sense of it, but in all honesty, I don’t think it will ever make sense to me.  But that’s okay.  God knows and He understood what I was feeling.  I knew if I was going to move past the hurt, I was going to have to start praying for those who had hurt me.  It wasn’t easy, and in the beginning it didn’t feel good, but prayer was the only way to release forgiveness.  I chose to forgive.

But then I realized I had another hurdle to overcome.  TRUST. 

Oh no, not another battle.  Uggh.

Even though I had extended forgiveness to those who had hurt me, I realized that I was keeping others at arm’s length.  It wasn’t intentional.  I guess it was just a protection for my heart, but isolation is a lonely place to be and I didn’t like it!  Once again, I found that I had another decision to make.  Was I going to allow what had happened to me to set the tone for the rest of my life?  NO WAY!  So, I began to ask God to help me trust again.   Another process to walk through, but at least I was moving forward.  I chose to trust.

Our lives are a work in progress.  Every day we are faced with decisions to move forward or to remain stuck.  Let’s face it.  We will continue to be hurt by people.  But it’s what we do with the hurt that matters to God. 

I choose to move forward!