Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Free to be Me

By Ev Horne

As I sit down to write this blog, I’m filled with hesitation and fear because I’ve got nothin’ to say.   I checked out everyone else’s blog, WOW!  I don’t think I can follow that.  I got away with forgetting to submit my blog last time, but not this time.  This time, I’ve got a deadline!  What do I write about, it’s not like I don’t have a lot going on in my life.  Got a new job, my best friend is getting married; God is taking me to a different level of faith in Him.   Actually, I think I’m at the most peaceful time of my life.  As I lean back in my chair and my roommate calls me a big procrastinator (she’s right by the way), I start asking the Lord, “What do I write about”? He immediately says, “why do you compare yourself to others, I made you to be you and not someone else.” 

As I take note of that statement, I remember when I first met Jesus.  I was a single mom with a 2 year old, having no idea how to raise a child, especially by myself!  Oh, I had a friend that was helping at the time, but when Jesus and I got together . . . well, things change when Jesus comes in to live in you.  I remember crying out to God, scared I could not be mother and father to my son. God gently and lovingly said to me, “you were not created to be his dad; I created you to be his mom.”  By that simple statement I was set free to raise my son, without the bondage of trying to be two different people to him.  As he grew . . . I grew in the Lord, and when I didn’t know what to do, I called out to Jesus and He always answered. So, as I write this, I see, I’ve written almost ½ a page. Not bad! 

I have served the Lord for about 28 years now and still find myself, looking at others and thinking “Wow, wish I could do that.”  But, as my Lord takes me to the next level with Him, I am beginning to accept ME, just the way I am.  I’m coming to the understanding that He created me to be me, and I’ve spent too many years trying to be what someone else wanted me to be.  So much so, that I am just now, at 57, becoming comfortable with me. In His Word, Mark 12:28-31, Jesus is asked which commandment is most important, His response, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and with all your mind and with your strength and the second, like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I’ve done a lot of things for people in the name of love, yet, I didn’t really love myself.  If I didn’t love me, how could I love them, much less my neighbors, my friends, and my family?  Okay and I won’t even get into the whole, “love your enemy and pray for them,”  that’s a whole other sermon there! As I come into my own, by that I mean, the “my own” that God has made me to be, I think I might really like ME.

So there you are, my first blog for Delightfully Restored.  I look forward to meeting you sometime at one of our conferences.  We can talk about loving ourselves and how that frees us to love others.  

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